The Two Drops of Oil: A Parable.

How often are we consumed by our responsibilities that we forget the treasures which surround us?

Responsibilities are an important part of our lives. They provide us the purpose and keep us going. Without responsibilities, life could become directionless. From childhood we were given responsibilities – to learn and to grow ourselves into something meaningful and purposeful. As we grow older, our responsibilities also increase manifold. We have responsibilities towards our parents, our children, our families, our work, in many ways towards the society we live in at large.  

Responsibilities make us get up in the morning and keep going even if we don’t feel like it. They push us to work harder, learn more and prepare for a better future. In that sense responsibilities are not a burden, they are an important part that inspires us to get going.

So far, so good. Responsibilities give us purpose and keep us moving.  But here is a trap.  

Sometimes we become so overwhelmed by our responsibilities that we forget to live. Our days become a cycle of work, busyness, commitments and worries. We keep moving from one responsibility to another, telling ourselves that we will enjoy life when things become easier.

So, how do we know when it’s time to finally enjoy all the sacrifices we have made for the future?

We often sacrifice today for a better future. We save for tomorrow, postpone the joys we could embrace now, and convince ourselves that we will enjoy them someday in future. But when that future becomes today, there is another future waiting to be secured. In that way we keep waiting for the future, forgetting that when it arrives, it too will have a future of its own.

And this is why we need to draw a line. Planning for tomorrow is important, but we should not sacrifice every moment of today for a future that always remains ahead of us. We not only lose the time at hand, but with every passing minute we lose something even more precious - our energy, our health and our ability to enjoy the life we are working so hard to build.

There is a beautiful parable in Paulo Coelho’s The Alchemist that illustrates this dilemma.

A young man, searching for the secret of happiness, visits a wise man who lives in a beautiful palace. Instead of simply giving him an answer, the wise man gives him a spoon containing two drops of oil. He asks the young man to walk around the palace while making sure that he doesn’t spill the oil.

The young man walks through the palace with his eyes fixed on the spoon. He is so concerned the about protecting the oil that he notices nothing else. When is returns, the wise man asks him about the palace – the gardens, the paintings and the beautiful things he had seen.

The young man had nothing to tell him. He had been so focused on the oil that he had missed all the beauty around him.

The wise man sends him out again, this time asking him to look at the palace and appreciate its beauty still taking care of the oil.

This time, the young man returns amazed by everything he has seen. But the two drops of oil are gone.

The lesson is simple: we have to carry two drops, but we must not forget to look and appreciate the palace.

The two drops of oil represent our responsibilities – the things we have to do to protect and take care of things we love. The palace represents everything else that makes life beautiful: our relationships, our health, nature, friendships, experiences, opportunities and the simple moment that often go unnoticed.

For me, the parable is also a reminder of the balance Allah has created in our lives. He has given us responsibilities, but at the same time He has created countless avenues for us to experience and appreciate life. We have duties towards our parents, our children, our families, our society, and the nature around us, but we are also surrounded by blessings, opportunities, relationships and moments of happiness. Our responsibility is not to ignore these blessings while performing our duties, but to appreciate them while carrying out what has been entrusted to us.

The problem is that many of us become so focused on the oil that we forget the palace.

We worry about the next responsibility, the next goal, the next promotion, the next salary and the next problem. We keep thinking about what needs to be done to secure the future and rarely pause to appreciate what is already done and enjoy it in the present.

And somewhere along the way, we forgot to be grateful.

Perhaps the best way to be happy is not to keep wanting the things we don’t have, but to appreciate the things we have while we have them.

We may have a family that loves us, good health, a peaceful evening, a friend we can all, a good book we can read or simply another ordinary day that we have been given. Yet because we constantly look ahead, we fail to recognize and appreciate these things in our lives

When gratitude disappears, even a life filled with blessing can begin to feel inadequate. We start comparing ourselves with others, chasing more and worrying more. The result is stressful life in which we act to live but are rarely living.

This doesn’t mean that we should abandon our responsibilities or stop planning for the future. We need to save the oil from spilling. We need to work, save, provide, learn and prepare.

But we also need to look up from the spoon.

We need to notice our children grow up. We need to sit with our family. We need to enjoy the conversation with our friends without constantly checking the time. We need to appreciate a beautiful morning, a quiet evening, a good book, a walk, a meal with family or simply we are here, alive.

The secret to be happy for the young man and us too, is not to choose between responsibility and enjoyment. It lies in carrying both.

The oil matters. But so does the palace.

Perhaps a meaningful life is not one without responsibilities. It’s a life in which we fulfil our responsibilities without allowing them to get heavy over us that we stop noticing the beauty around us.

Because one day, we may look back and realize that while we have protected the two drops of oil, we forgot to see the palace.