Control Your Mind Before It Controls You.

        Have you ever felt like your mind is working on its own – thinking, worrying and                           reacting without your permission?

 

                                                                                                                                              ** Image generated using AI for illustrative purpose

Our mind is an intangible space where thoughts, emotions, consciousness, and decisions take shape. It is not a physical organ like a brain but is an experience created by brain’s activity – thinking, feeling, perceiving, imagining, etc.

So, the human mind cannot be seen or touched like the brain. We often think we control it, but in reality, much of the activities happen automatically. Thoughts happen on its own, emotions follow and before we realize it, we are reacting without awareness. This is where the real problem begins – not in the thoughts, but in our lack of control over how we engage with them.

When we lose control of the mind, it turns into overthinking. A single thought, left unattended, grows in intensity. What begins as a small concern can quickly turn into worry, then to stress – closing the doors of creativity and decision making. At that point our mind starts to rule over us rather than serving us.

And, if left unchecked in this way, life soon becomes chaotic. To break this cycle of mind’s dominance, we must begin to observe what is happening inside the mind. Being aware of the thought process is the key to regaining control and align the thoughts with meaningful results.

We cannot always control the arrival of thoughts, but we can control which ones deserve our attention. By guiding our focus toward thoughts that are meaningful and constructive, we weaken the grip of negativity. Practices such as mindfulness, journaling, conscious reflection, and deliberate attention help us cultivate this discipline—transforming the mind from a restless storyteller into a wise guide.

As Joseph Nguyen writes in his book Don’t Believe Everything You Think: “Pain is inevitable, but suffering is optional.” This powerful truth defines the mind’s ability to create suffering in our lives. In other words, we cannot avoid pain, but how we react to the circumstances that follow is upto us, and that will dictate whether we suffer or not.

Our mind is a great storyteller. Left unchecked, it can spin narrative from scratch, creating situation and chaos where none truly exists. To illustrate this, let me share a story about a young monk living in a small monastery in a forest near a small lake.

The monk had one very important duty; to meditating in silence for hours at a time. But the young monk finds it difficult to stay focused during his meditation that made him very angry. As the young monk reported his progress to his mentor, the elder monk asked the young monk a simple question that contained a hidden lesson: "Do you know what made you angry at the disruption?" As you become angrier with each interruption you encounter, this is totally opposite of what the point of meditation is. The meditation is to find a way for a peaceful mind in disturbing environment. After that, the young monk went out and looked for a place that would be quieter to meditate peacefully. He found such a place at the shore of lake nearby. When he started meditating, a flock of birds splashed down the lake, disturbing the young monk.

Even though the young monk did not find the peace he was looking for, he kept returning to the lake. Then one day, the monk saw a boat tied at the end of a small pier and an idea hit him: Why don't I take the boat to the middle of the lake and meditate peacefully there? And he exactly did that.

In the middle of the lake, there was nothing to disturb him and finally he was able to find peace of mind while meditating and hadn't felt angry for a long time now.

One day while meditating in the middle of the lake, the young monk heard splashing of water and felt that the boat was moving. he started getting upset that even in the middle of the lake, there is someone or something disturbing him.

When he opened his eyes, he saw a boat heading straight towards him. He shouted, but the other boat kept coming straight at him and hit his boat. Now he was furious. He screamed, " Who are you, and why have you hit my boat in the middle of this vast lake?" There was no answer from the other side. He stood up to see who was in the boat and to his surprise, he found that there was no one in the other boat.

The boat was probably drifted by the winds.  The monk's anger instantly dissipates, replaced by a sense of calm and clarity. At that moment he remembered his mentor's question: "Do you know what is making you angry?" And he realized: "It's not other people, situation or circumstances. It's not the other boat, but my reaction to it causes my anger." 

The monk rowed the boat back to shore and returned to the monastery and started meditating along with other monks. There were still noises and disturbances around, but the monk treated them the "empty boat" and continued to meditate peacefully.

The empty boat reminds us that life’s disturbances are rarely the true source of our suffering. It is our reaction—our unchecked mind—that creates the chaos. By observing our thoughts and treating them as ‘empty boats,’ we reclaim the power to respond with clarity, creativity, and peace.

Our mind is a powerful tool, but it’s a dangerous master. If left unchecked, it can lead us into confusion, stress and fear. But when we learn to observe and guide it, the same becomes a source of clarity and strength. In the end, if we do not control our mind, it will control us – and that control shapes the life we live.